Shoe shopping

In her nightmare, Bev had been in a shoe shop, the assistant endlessly offering the same cork-wedged sandals but with different colour straps. For some reason she couldn’t leave. “Lime GREEN Perhaps?” came the question for the 50th time, an impatient, malevolent tone in the voice. Not prone to nervous ticks, Bev felt her head twitch involuntarily. She looked down to find her arms crudely bound to the chair with sticky-backed tape which said SALE SALE SALE every few inches. Around her feet, which were also bound, were strewn 200 open boxes of cork-wedged footwear in every shade of green imaginable.

Bev woke with a start and looked at the clock radio. It was 7:00 am. With one ear to the pillow, she couldn’t make out the music so she nudged the volume slightly. “Take On Me” was playing. It reminded her of the muzac in some shop she’d been in recently, she couldn’t quite recall…

Published in: on September 18, 2008 at 4:45 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Employee vend

Adrian stood at the glass fronted vending machine trying to understand what he was being told. He had inserted a limp bill and now had one dollar of credit. But on making his selection – a Twix – the vending robot displayed impolitely, “Use Exact Change” on its one line display, and the Refund button would not work. Adrian thought it very amusing that he was now forced by a machine into ‘up-sell’ and he had to select a pocket-packet of Basil’s Vanilla Sandwich Crème biscuits, for a full $1.

This moment of private hilarity was upstaged seconds later by the appearance of a blonde piece, stabbing buttons on the nearby coffee machine. Wearing cork wedge sandals.

Published in: on September 17, 2008 at 8:13 am  Leave a Comment  
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Lime green

Samantha sat at her window seat, sipping her cup of pungent Jarrah, adjacent to that unknown minion, was her name Bev? Tess? She couldn’t remember, it hardly mattered. This tea was sooo nice, she told herself.

She felt so comfortable today in her Cartier Keyhole suit, it had been so expensive in Paris but worth every Euro, and especially as it showed off her mock-antique décolletage so nicely. And the lime-green cork wedges were just sooo a la mode in Paris – surely these Sydney people would get the point soon, and she would get a promotion.

Samantha tried hard to block out that irritating humming coming from the opposite cubicle – it was that annoying Bess again – what was she humming? Oh good grief, was it Lionel Richie? How passé. She was grateful when her mobile phone began to vibrate on her desk, covering the irritating dirge of the serf girl with a clever rendition of “Take On Me.”

“Amos! Doll! …”, she began with exaggerated delight as she answered her diminutive mobile handset…

Published in: on September 17, 2008 at 8:03 am  Comments (3)  
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Fashionably Jarrah

Bev says:

I am in an inexplicably good mood today and nothing makes me happier than wailing on someone else’s fashion sense.

My neighbour at work today is wearing a lime green paisley see-through top with a delightfully huge key-hole cut out – revealing her décolletage in all its glory. This is enhanced by cork wedge heels, with a lime strap.

She calls everyone “doll” and her mobile phone ring-tone is A-ha’s “Take on Me”. Nothing is more enjoyable than having that endlessly blasting away at 3000 decibels as she steps away from her desk to make another cup of Jarrah.

Published in: on September 7, 2008 at 5:18 am  Comments (1)  
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